It’s the most painful experiences that enlighten the most beautiful hearts

When we are living the high life, it’s often difficult to recognise authentic relationships, opportunities and our capacity

How could anything positive come out of hitting rock bottom?

1. We truly find out who our loved ones are

When the honey moon is over the real marriage begins

When we are under fire in the workplace or we lose our public office, the real friends and connections continue

When I was thirty eight years of age, I got fired from a world wide religious organisation for standing my ground on ethical grounds. After twenty one years of service with no marks against my name, I lost everything in a moment.

All that remained was my marriage, family and a handful of friends.

THEY WERE MORE THAN ENOUGH to rebuild a life and from the handful of authentic relationships, an abundance of new relationships birthed.

2. We truly find out that there is more to life than what we have become accustomed to.

Many migrants have experienced this. They have to leave the comfort of language, country and kin to seek better opportunities.

Out of a need to survive, we stumble on unseen opportunities. Academics start cleaning businesses to survive and end up building an empire. Peasant Farmers end up owning fishing fleets. Factory workers end up building property portfolio.

ROCK BOTTOM FORCED THEM TO SEEK NEW OPPORTUNITIES

3. We get that sweet taste of finally being ourselves

We often hear the new age term ‘being the best version of yourself’. It’s often very difficult to explore the idea of ‘who am I’ when we are busy existing.

Hitting rock bottom, losing almost everything clears the deck to finally ask deeper questions about life.

Jesus shared one of the deepest truths about hitting rock bottom that is filled with optimism. He said “Unless seed falls to the ground and dies, it remains alone. But when it dies, it comes back to life and increases a hundred times.

The true beauty of losing almost everything, we get a chance to build life long friendships that have sustained the fire.

We get to experience opportunities that we never thought possible.

We get to be whoever we want to be, or better still who we’ve been created to be.

Best of all, we laugh harder than we’ve ever laughed when all the masks are off. We also pray with a reaching hand and cry with a deep burdened heart for others still trapped in the maze of despair.

If you are interested in a chat, message me on WhatsApp with the button to the right hand bottom corner of this page or email me direct on contact@tomsmilovitis.com and we can arrange to meet if you’re in Perth, Western Australia or zoom chat anywhere in the world.

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We don’t use the term Be Merciful much in everyday life, yet the healing that comes with acts of mercy is undeniable.

We can get so preoccupied with Justice, Revenge and the day of Reckoning, we miss the connection that we are becoming sicker as a society.

Being Merciful is not for the weak. Only courageous individuals with a great capacity to be truly human towards the unlovable can administer acts of Mercy.

1. Mercy cures us of self righteousness

When we live a life never needing Mercy, we can over-inflate our own sense of importance. Self importance is a recipe for self destruction as we trample on the human race with judgment.

There is nothing uglier than being in the presence of a smug self righteous person who is hiding their own need for mercy.

2. Mercy restores broken relationships

The ugliest wars are civil wars, brother against brother.

The ugliest divorces, when two who once claimed love, destroy property, unity and legacy.

Business partners, work colleagues, not for profits are all voids for harsh judgement where an act of mercy can bring restoration.

How do we find the Mercy that can bring healing to ourselves and society?

Start with an act of mercy to yourself.

Recognise areas of your life that are broken and give yourself a fresh start.

It can be exhausting trying to justify every action of our past.

Being merciful to ourselves first is a foundation stone to being merciful to others.

We no longer have to hide behind perfectionism. We no longer have to look at the bottomless debt we feel we owe ourselves and society.

Being merciful to ourselves releases us from other people’s expectations and frees us to serve with no strings attached.

The fruit of justice is fair compensation which leaves a bad taste in the mouth of society. Being fair and reasonable is about as good as it gets, someone always feels taken advantage of.

The fruit of mercy is compassion, undeserved compassion. It’s an opportunity to grow in the purist form of humanity and reach a spiritual plateau where all parties are humbled and healed.

As true as the ancient text says ‘Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy’

Exercising Mercy produces a quality in any leader that is wanting to influence others without the need to micromanage. Acts of mercy will also go a long way towards good mental health.

Are you wanting to grow in mercy and wholesome influence.

If you are interested in a chat, message me on WhatsApp with the button to the right hand bottom corner of this page or email me direct on contact@tomsmilovitis.com and we can arrange to meet if you’re in Perth, Western Australia or zoom chat anywhere in the world.

Who knows what light could come from a chat?

Life begins at fifty

1. With the benefit of hindsight, we realise how foolish we were to worry about so many things that didn’t matter

Navigating through all the empty words, broken promises and unrealistic expectations, we become less obsessed the older we get (I acknowledge some are late bloomers and may experience this in their 60s or 70s)

I often marvel how elderly people seem more content the older they get

They have less to prove

2. We tend to focus on things we love most the older we get

It’s amazing how age starts to bring clarity of what we don’t want out of life, resulting in a refocus to a handful of things that matter most

3. We return back to a childhood state and enjoy the simple things again

Life has a way of taking away our youthful optimism, joy and enthusiasm

Ageing has a peculiar way of reverting our life back to things we miss about being young

Some may see this as a crisis, others experience this as a breakthrough

I tend to think it’s a crisis when our decisions unnecessarily hurt those we claim to love

I tend to think it’s a breakthrough when we discover our passion and follow our dreams

There is nothing more refreshing than being around older people that have a sense of self

These are the ones that naturally go and mentor the next generation, helping them navigate through the turbulence of youth

One liberating thing that I did when I experienced a breakthrough, I tore up every award, certificate of accomplishment and started fresh. The idea of resting on my past success is not an option, it feels like I have noose around my neck

Relying on past success is a type of vanity that leaves me hopeless especially when life has so much more to offer

In my fifties, I’ve rediscovered the joy of personal growth that keeps us fresh, not past successes.

P.S I wouldn’t recommend you burn all your awards, it’s just something I felt I had to do. We are all different.

If you are interested in a chat, message me on WhatsApp with the button to the right hand bottom corner of this page or email me direct on contact@tomsmilovitis.com and we can arrange to meet if you’re in Perth, Western Australia or zoom chat anywhere in the world.

Who knows what light could come from a chat?

No matter how much we try to mind our own business, there will always be someone that will meddle with our business, why?

I can’t even begin to tell you how many people advise me on how to do my job.

Most of them wouldn’t even know what it’s like walking in my footsteps yet they feel qualified to tell me how and where to walk.

In my forty plus years of work history, I’ve had the privilege of being surrounded by highly qualified mentors in their fields.

From hospitality, not for profits, real estate, construction. I accelerated in all these fields because the mentor student relationships were fluid and natural.

It is easy to identify where I struggled throughout my career. It was my colleagues that did not have my permission to be my advisers or mentors.

1. It’s that number one sales person who gets promoted to sales manager that throws everyone under a bus to preserve their reputation at the expense of yours.

2. It’s that lazy work colleague who doesn’t pull their weight but always puts their opinion in on how to achieve an objective.

3. It’s the bazar nepotism in a family business that always puts blood first at the expense of more qualified and integral colleagues

4. It’s the notion that tenure overrides any possible promotion of a more favourable person to add value to the enterprise

All the above and more create the perfect setting for colleagues to throw others under the bus (metaphorically) to keep their place.

3 ways to prevent being thrown under a bus

1. Mind your own business and be better at it than anyone else

2. Stay vigilant, guarding your heart (attitude) from allowing the ignorance of others to morph you into throwing your colleagues under a bus

3. Always outgrow your current habitat in Leadership & Personal Development, allowing the world to open doors for you rather than shrink in confidence

Keep your colleagues guessing is one of the surest ways of gaining their respect while they try to figure you out.

If you are interested in a chat, message me on WhatsApp with the button to the right hand bottom corner of this page or email me direct on contact@tomsmilovitis.com  and we can arrange to meet if you’re in Perth, Western Australia or zoom chat anywhere in the world.

Who knows what light could come from a chat?

The term ‘thou shalt not covet’ was carved in stone thousands of years ago for a reason.

It was never meant to be replaced by another law. It was not open for discussion or interpretation.

Anyone’s opinion to justify is null and void.

Unlike a fantasy which is way beyond most people’s reach like having our own island, the law of covetousness related to our neighbour. Our neighbours are those who are in close proximity to us.

3 distractions happen when we entertain coveting

1. We look at those around us and we believe we deserve what they have more then they do

That Job, Title, Property, Relationship, should have been mine

2. We demean our own existence

We fail to back ourselves in a real way and we allow imaginary limitations that prevent us from progressing

3. We destroy our own integrity and motivation to better ourselves

We lose the respect of those that see our eyes filled with covetousness

How coveting works

– Coveting starts with our eyes

– Our self talk convinces us of our hidden desire

– The green eye of jealousy with all its hidden camouflage turns into an insidious possessive cancer.

The antidote for covetousness

1. Mind our own business

2. Imagine what it is that we want with what we have

3. Start backing ourselves to create a life without the need to take what doesn’t belong to us

The freedom we have when covetousness no longer has a grip on us is simple.

We realise our neighbour has their own vices and setbacks and we may be instrumental in blessing our neighbour rather than to be secretly jealous of them.

If you are interested in a chat, message me on WhatsApp with the button to the right hand bottom corner of this page or email me direct on contact@tomsmilovitis.com and we can arrange to meet if you’re in Perth, Western Australia or zoom chat anywhere in the world.

Who knows what light could come from a chat?

Why use the term WHOLESOME Leadership & Mentoring?

Before we choose the Leadership & Personal Development process, choose the person who walks the walk and talks the talk.

In the ancient days, there was a clear distinction between hirelings & shepherds.

A hireling was a person who was paid to do a job of looking after the sheep, with limited scope. They had menial daily tasks in exchange for a wage. If danger was present, like a wolf threatening the sheep, the hireling would run.

The motivation of the hireling is fee driven. This isn’t necessarily evil, it is what it is. If we hire someone to do a menial job like caring for sheep, don’t expect them to die for the sheep.

If we are looking for a partner to take ownership of the sheep, pay them accordingly. These are the ones that will work for less than a hireling and should get paid abundantly when there is an abundance to go around.

A shepherd was in it for the welfare of the sheep regardless of the fee and would hunt down any threat

A WHOLESOME Leader or Mentor gives their complete heart in the process of developing others

5 Attributes of WHOLESOME Leaders & Mentors

1. They continually work on self mastery. They are always preparing for the challenge. They know they must give out of currency they have today and not rely on past knowledge alone

2. They pick students who are up for the task and don’t allow ego to just pick everyone that appears curious

3. They know where to draw the lines between themselves assisting and the student doing the work

4. They are unapologetic about the process and acknowledge that many students won’t finish the course

5. No amount of money is worth what what a truly gifted Leader or Mentor has and these unique individuals charge according to the ability of the student

If you are looking to grow as an influencer and leader, pick the right Mentor

There are plenty of HIRELINGS masquerading as SHEPHERDS, it doesn’t take long to distinguish between the two.

If you are interested in a chat, message me on WhatsApp with the button to the right hand bottom corner of this page or email me direct on contact@tomsmilovitis.com and we can arrange to meet if you’re in Perth, Western Australia or zoom chat anywhere in the world.

Who knows what light could come from a chat?

I’m confident that there isn’t a person on earth that believes they are perfect; then why are we so hard on ourselves?

1. We can’t be in control of what is marked as a flaw in the worlds eyes

Blemishes, imperfections and errors aren’t the problem

The problem is, we want to be in control of the blemishes, imperfections and errors that the world knows about

It’s our way of showing the world that we relate, we are humble to a degree, but it must be on our terms

We deceive ourselves when we believe that the world views us the same way as we view ourselves, flaws and all

2. Flaws are what bring out the best in us

It’s the failure that helps us improve

Growth & flaws are part and parcel of discovering things about our limitations, expectations and possibilities

When we see an ugly side to our character it’s an opportunity to make things good

We may believe we don’t have a bad temper until our temper is tested

We may believe we are naturally kind until circumstances unveil a judgmental side we didn’t believe existed in us

Flaws that get discovered are either dealt with or we go deeper into self denial

3. Flaws humanise us, don’t miss the opportunity

Having the capacity to see how fractured we all are is one of the greatest bonds in humanity

Having the capacity to laugh at our flaws helps us to resist covering them up

It’s easy to project a flawless life in the virtual world and around shallow relationships, this is clearly a missed opportunity to grow

Photoshopping everything about ourselves is the surest way to misery

One of the most profound illustrations in history that helps heal a flawed life

A woman was judged by her city’s officials for her flaws in an ancient setting. The law condemned her to death

Jesus speaks to the law makers and enforcers, “Let the one that has no flaws be the first to cast a stone in enforcing judgment”

Not one could cast a stone. Jesus created stellar check mate move. The law enforcers walked away not willing to reveal their flawed lives in a public setting like they did to this woman. They preferred hiding in their flawed state

Jesus turned to the woman and asked her “Who is judging you now?”

Her response “No one”

Jesus then sets her free to think and re-evaluate how she chooses to live without judgement

Flaws aren’t the problem, they are an opportunity

If you are interested in a chat, message me on WhatsApp with the button to the right hand bottom corner of this page or email me direct on contact@tomsmilovitis.com and we can arrange to meet if you’re in Perth, Western Australia or zoom chat anywhere in the world.

Who knows what light could come from a chat?

Those who continue to exist and live in spite of danger and hardship

1. They accept the conditions around them, they don’t accept defeat

Part of the survival journey is acknowledging the lay of the land, the environment we find our selves in.

The moment we see things as they are we begin to glean and we start foraging for any thing that’s of value.

Survivors know that every little thing that we find useful must be taken and activated.

2. Survivors conserve energy

With little resources the survivor is always mindful of being frugal

They suspend all their immediate needs and appetites for better days

The survivor is forever in strategy mode to preserve themselves as they look to prolong their existence

3. The survivor picks their time to move on

With limited resources and stuck in a hostile environment, the survivor musters up and keeps moving towards freedom

Survivors that truly live, making the most out of life accept their new surroundings once they’re out of immediate danger.

Existing is not enough, we must live and treat life as a precious gift not a prison sentence.

a. They remain vigilant but they don’t become victims of their past

b. They play the long game staying frugal but don’t become stingy

c. They never become complacent and always move on to new opportunities

Survivors at their very best equip others to survive and live should one ever find themselves in hostile environments

If you are interested in a chat, message me on WhatsApp with the button to the right hand bottom corner of this page or email me direct on contact@tomsmilovitis.com and we can arrange to meet if you’re in Perth, Western Australia or zoom chat anywhere in the world.

Who knows what light could come from a chat?

Everyone carries a certain energy about them.

Some are so negative, like a black hole in space, they dim the atmosphere in every room they walk in and…

1. People in the room feel their own energy levels vaporise and find their thinking becomes foggy

2. Trying to do work around a negative person is distracting as creativity is locked

3. Negativity by its very own nature sucks the light, life and movement to exist itself

Positive people fill with a room with optimism and energy, they don’t need to justify their hope filled vibe

1. Positive people leave others thinking of possibilities and they upset nay sayers

2. Positive people create solutions, they fill the voids and encourage those that feel empty

3. Positive people create movement, opportunity and initiate necessary change

Being positive isn’t being loud or faking it till we make it. Being positive is simply moving forward in every direction and being motivated by vision

Some may call positive people visionary’s, they ‘faith it till they make it’. They see things others don’t.

Positive people are too busy believing and doing rather than critiquing and procrastinating.

Why try to justify what negative people can’t see?

Both the negative and those that need encouragement will benefit if we stay on course and deliver what’s in our heart.

Stay positive, you don’t need to justify your optimism, your fruit will speak for itself.

Positive Energy is scarce, don’t just give yours away to anyone that has little appreciation how hard you work to stay positive and optimistic.

If you are interested in a chat, message me on WhatsApp with the button to the right hand bottom corner of this page or email me direct on contact@tomsmilovitis.com and we can arrange to meet if you’re in Perth, Western Australia or zoom chat anywhere in the world.

Who knows what light could come from a chat?

The world has gone mad with an overstimulation of info, many can’t see the Forrest for the trees.

Becoming a Mentor doesn’t have to be official. It is simply helping someone on purpose along their life’s journey.

3 benefits when you become a Mentor

1. We stay fresh in our own life experience

Caring for others in their journey and being available in very practical terms forces us to grow.

‘We can’t give what we don’t have’

There is nothing uglier than those that know better who withhold opportunities for others to grow.

2. Our life experience goes to good use

As a Mentor, we help others bypass many unwanted paths as we influence those we are helping what to expect through our mistakes

We also have the privilege of showing others some of life’s shortcuts to achieve great results with minimal effort.

3. The trust that we gain has mutual rewards

There is something wholesome about being a trusted sounding board for someone to work out their issues

We are not their therapist, we are their trusted friend that has walked before them.

Life long friendships are often birthed through the Mentoring process. When the student becomes a Mentor, they in turn pass it forward and guide others through life and feel the reward in doing so.

We don’t need credentials to give a damn, we just need to go out and encourage someone in need. The rest becomes natural.

Perhaps you are looking for a Mentor or want to grow as a Mentor?

If you are interested in a chat, message me on WhatsApp with the button to the right hand bottom corner of this page or email me direct on contact@tomsmilovitis.com and we can arrange to meet if you’re in Perth, Western Australia or zoom chat anywhere in the world.

Who knows what light could come from a chat?

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