Someone asked Bernard Shaw what, in his opinion, is the most beautiful thing in this world.
“Youth,” he replied, “is the most beautiful thing in this world—and what a pity that it has to be wasted on children!”
When I think of all the energy I used going in all sorts of directions in my youth compared to today, it astounds me. Was I more effective then, not really. Was my quality of life better then, not really. Did I influence more people then, not really.
The tragedy of my youth was clearly the wasted energy of worry, negativity, ambition and failure. It often takes long stretches of repeat mistakes before we acknowledge paths we no longer wish to travel.
Ask an older person what they miss mostly in life?
I’d suggest it would have to be relationships. Social Connection with family and friends.
I met an older lady a few days ago and she made the comment ‘isn’t it great getting old’. She said it with such enthusiasm you just had to believe her.
Getting old has its setbacks for sure. Our bodies aren’t what they used to be.
What I think this lady meant when she said ‘isn’t it great getting old’; you get to sift out all the dead weights and hang ups life has thrown at us and you can finally just be.
It’s a beautiful observation to see those who age gracefully. They walk through life with their metaphorical understanding of value likened to diamonds, a classy wine and a forrest. The constant pressures didn’t kill them, they just sparkled more. The hidden years of ageing created a smoothness and quality of life few get to experience. The seasons of life with all its hale, rain and sunshine produced the wisdom of the ages.
Yes, I to agree with that lady’s conclusion ‘isn’t it great getting old’
Advice to the next generation. You too will be here before you know it, joining us who are ageing. Please slow down, laugh more, smell the roses 🌹 and don’t take yourself so seriously. Most importantly, value people more than things. You will surely age gracefully and be the envy of everyone.
Have a blessed day
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The choice is always ours to make
It’s just a matter of time and we are irritated, discouraged or disappointed by everyone around us at some point in our lives, what then?
The notion of honouring others helps us to stay even keeled.
Fact is, we too have irritated, discouraged or disappointed everyone around us at some point in time. Be they our closest friend, family or work colleague.
Having an ability to see ourselves introspect-fully in the mirror, it’s not that difficult to honour those around us.
Daily we can make choices to expand our circle of influence and bring along with us others that see the world differently to us. If our point of differences cause us to shrink all the time, ask the question, are we honourable people.
It’s easy to love and honour those that continually affirm our sense of being, a child can do that. What’s challenging is, honouring those that seemingly work against us, but not necessarily. This mature approach allows us the opportunity to see the world through the other person and respectfully learn from them.
Honouring someone doesn’t necessarily condone or align with all the virtues or beliefs of the other person, it just allows a relationship to bloom at the right time.
If a marriage is to bloom to its fullest experience, honouring ones spouse is a prerequisite.
If a parent or children are to experience the fullness of their maturity, both parties must let go of unreal expectations and continue to honour each other’s paths.
This is especially true in the work place. People come and go, and the art of honouring those we work with makes life pleasant or tormenting.
Life has a way of blessing honourable people. It reflects way beyond their skill set and they will hardly struggle to find meaningful employment, business opportunities or anything else they are seeking in life.
Dis-honourable individuals will forever be chasing their own shadows of the mystical world where they enthrone themselves over anyone else.
Honourable people have thick skin and soft hearts as opposed to dis-honourable individuals who have thin skin and hard hearts.
Take time out today to bless someone. Perhaps a friend, family member, work colleague or stranger.. it will bless your soul often more than it will the one you are reaching out to.
If you are interested in growing your leadership skills, let’s have chat. You can message me on WhatsApp with the button to the right hand bottom corner of this page or email me direct on email me direct on contact@tomsmilovitis.com and we can arrange to meet if you’re in Perth, Western Australia or zoom chat anywhere in the world.
Who knows what light could come from a chat?
The following are just a couple of the services I offer of my six main offerings. For more details go to Services
TOM SMILOVITIS blogs are simple thoughts to encourage those looking to grow in their sphere of influence. PLEASE SHARE
If you are going to do something in life, do it with all your heart.
I felt the call to be an Evangelist when I was twenty years old, meaning, if I believed it, the whole world needs to know about it. I haven’t turned my back on my calling ever since.
I do wish my whole spiritual journey was as simple, radical and enjoyable as my street outreach days. I can honestly say, I’ve experienced triumphs so great, no amount of accolades could compare with the harmony I felt with my creator. I have also gone through deep dark valleys filled with such shame, I barely believed I’d be here today to share my fortieth spiritual birthday this coming Sunday on 18th July 2021.
Forty years ago on a Saturday night, 18th July 1981 I attended a Christian Rock Concert in Mount Lawley, Perth, Western Australia.
The months preceding this concert, I was grappling with the notion of God and the fundamentals of the Christian faith. There was no real catalyst to be thinking such big things, I was only seventeen years old and had a great life to that point.
If I described my upbringing, most would consider it dysfunctional. If I were to compare it to the modern world of convenience, ease of movement and freedom of choice, my upbringing was far from normal.
My father can only be described as a bohemian gangster. He was a son of an aggressive alcoholic. He spent his teens in a German concentration camp in WW2, fought in a civil war in Greece and Korea. Eight years of war from age thirteen to twenty one. Toughest man I’ve ever met who had a huge influence in my life. He encouraged hustling and would laugh about anything, he had an incredible sense of humour. He definitely didn’t encourage seeking spirituality. In fact when I made the decision to go to church each week and devoted my life to Jesus, he threatened to blow the church up. But one thing is for sure, I knew he loved me, I was his champion.
My mother was a strong stoic woman who’s name and reputation meant everything. How she ended up with a gangster like dad is anyone’s guess. She was extreme when it came to ethics. Hard work and family was everything to her. I know she also had a tremendous impact in my life. My wife of thirty five years is in many ways just like mum when it comes to integrity and hard work. Mum was deeply religious and uneducated but wiser than many of the academics I’ve met throughout my life. Perhaps she impacted my beliefs and openness to God. Like my dad, I knew she loved me, I was her golden boy.
All I know is, mum prayed openly and dad didn’t.
Both parents did their best with what they had, like most parents. Flying furniture around the house was not out of the question when mum and dad argued. For me, this was normal. I’ve laughed about dad’s aggression my whole life, perhaps that says a lot about my quirky sense of humour and my way of coping.
If dad felt cornered, he fixed everything by acts of violence or the threat of violence, so it wasn’t too hard to obey him. Mum was frugal with money, making the most out of our mega existence. I never felt that I missed out on anything and learned early in life to work hard and stick up for myself.
My parents were brilliant mentors and to this day I honour them for their contribution in my life.
With parents like mine, there was no way my life would be anything but insane and adventurous. Maybe God gave me them to prep me for my extraordinary life.
Back to 1981, that Christian Rock Concert in Mt Lawley. There would have been about a hundred young people from all walks of life there. X drug addicts, hippies, reformed alcoholics and a few half normal teenagers like me.
I heard a simple and authentic gospel message that night through the music and drama. I loved the energy in that room, these young Christians felt they could change the world and I wanted to be in on it.
I devoted my life to God’s service that night and was completely ignorant of the journey that would take me. I was born into a Greek Orthodox home, that was not my choice; but when I was seventeen years of age I made a conscious decision to follow the Christian path and make Jesus my Lord and Saviour. This was my choice. I’ve been mocked mercilessly over the years for believing so strongly, by my peers, family and others who didn’t even know me. I’ve also been blessed in ways I couldn’t describe seeing others experience the same hope that I have through my beliefs.
Being mocked never made me a victim, it simply solidified my convictions and faith even further. Thank God for mockers.
Forty years later in a brief reflection, I’ve travelled extensively, preaching in over one hundred communities, throughout Australia and many parts of the world.
My wife, family and I have had the privilege of helping innumerable people over the years through a simple message of hope.
From street outreach, itinerant preacher to the corporate world of property, construction and commerce, it’s been an amazing journey.
Like the children of Israel who went around the mountain more times than they should’ve, I to have gone round in circles some years just wasting time and energy worrying what other people thought rather than being true to my call.
I thank God that he has kept faith in me and has never let go. God had always guided me back towards the promised land despite me.
One thing is for sure, I am not ashamed in what I believe these days, who I believe in and what I stand for. My worst days during the last forty years of faith definitely were the ones that I allowed by watering down my Christian beliefs. I compromised aspects of my beliefs so that I could be accepted by individuals I respected. What a mistake that was.
These days, I choose again like I did as a seventeen year old, a simple faith that has two rules. To Love God with all my heart, mind and soul and my neighbour as myself.
If I can stick to these two rules, I’m confident that my next forty years of faith will be even more epic than the first forty years.
In faith, I’m looking forward to the next forty years, God willing. I’m keen yo see what life has in stall for me and others who are open to his call.
Wether you’re on the mountain top or in the valley, hope is not a geographical place to reach or some time in the future, hope is within us if we activate it by believing. Acknowledging Jesus as Lord and Saviour and being open to an extraordinary life of faith is just the beginning.
Life is a journey not a destination. Never allow yourself to get stuck in any part of the journey, just keep being open to the adventure and take as many people with you along the way.
I pray 🙏 you to will take the plunge and walk by faith and not always by sight. See where God takes you.
Spirituality isn’t some mystical feeling experienced on some mountain top; spirituality is gut-wrenchingly real and can be experienced in the workplace, home, the streets, in prison.
God is wherever you call out to him. 🙏
If you are going to do something in life, do it with all your heart.
God bless you and thank you for letting me share part of my story…
In God, the best days of your life are ahead of you.
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They may walk, but they are the without soul.
They may eat, but they are never satisfied.
They may be wide eyed, but no one is home.
These are the living dead.
They’ve been bitten by another infected person with the money bug.
It was once said, that the love of money is the root of all evil. To give money more power than it deserves will enthrone itself deep within one’s sub-conscious. It will become the steering mechanism of all decisions.
Well-being is not within the realm of more money or wealth. The only governing force of someone that has been bitten by the money disease is MORE!!!
Like the Zombie, they live to infect others.
Money should never be given the human emotion of love. The moment we give over to money and its accumulation as the end goal, money becomes the master.
Money dictates what our thoughts are, what pleasures we chase, our values come to the surface, our friends or the lack thereof become evident.
Money is a horrid taskmaster and like the zombie, keeps us in the dark if we give over to its alluring force.
Kings have been cursed by it.
Homeless people have been cursed by it.
The love of money has no respect humanity, it’s an insatiable force wants us all to be subject to its slavery.
The only remedy for us that have been bitten by the Money disease 🦠 can only come through rethinking the following.
Does money own us or are we mere stewards of all that we have? A Seward understands, that we own nothing, we are simply caretakers of all that we have been blessed with.
We can’t take it with us
Being a steward therefore frees us from ever being controlled by our bank balance, it’s abundance or lack thereof. If we have been gifted with the ability to create wealth and we desire to live a full life rather than be a victim of the living dead, ask, what difference are we making in our world.
That’s the only measure of true wealth. The more we create and the more opportunities we have to enrich others through our abilities, the richer we become.
If it’s a matter of accumulation as the end goal, we are poorer than the poorest on earth.
To be a steward that is wealthy, starts today, reflecting on everything that is in front of us. How is what I have enabling me to benefit my community?
If the answer is disproportionate to what we believe that we deserve and our sense of true happiness and satisfaction isn’t there, have a change of heart and start giving.
You’ll find true happiness is right in front of you. Start today, not some day.
Control money by lowing its status to a tool, not a god; and be free from its power.
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Traditions are under attack for good reason. Too many people talk about them, few live them.
Growing up in a Greek / Macedonian migrant family, unspoken traditions were a way of life.
In a male dominant culture, where women were treated with contempt if they dared to challenge the patriarchal authority, virtuous women like my mother thrived, how?
Women like my mother were brilliant at utilising tradition to influence and establish a brilliant home front. The food we cooked, the way we communicated, work ethic, religion, family and respect were all part of creating multigenerational sustainable communities.
The church was at the heart of a village with its fundamental message of forgiveness. God’s providence of overseeing our human activity in every area of life was an assurance of peace and good will were in my mother’s heart despite her struggles.
Mum didn’t have any notion of trauma, dysfunctional families, social welfare promises or any other new world development when it came to survival. Mum had traditions. Traditions that held to a basic understanding of human connectivity in close communities.
If you had an issue with your neighbour, family member, person down the street, you had to sort it out. The village had a way of bringing things to the surface in order to survive. These forms of traditions go back thousands of years.
Jesus taught such a tradition, dealing with family or close relationship feuds. If you had an issue with someone, go to them direct and thrash it out. This is the first step towards building strong, open communication between two strongly opinionated individuals. If you can’t get a mutual resolve because of obstinacy on one or another’s part, take your unresolved issue to the public square, where others can assist with a resolve.
Most mature individuals would easily resolve even the greatest disputes by simply addressing them one on one.
In a New Age of madness and the curse of Pop Religion in a social media age, timeless and tested traditions are thrown out the window for cheap likes with no commitment.
Traditions like the value marriage, honouring parents, integrity, family, community are dismantled to the point where we stand for nothing and fall for everything.
Developing convictions of what is worth standing for will be tested. It’s in that very moment, when a conviction is birthed as we go through the fire, we to will be walking in the same footsteps of our ancestors who knew the value of tradition.
I’m guilty of mocking traditions my mother stood for only to follow them decades later when I passed the fire test and understood its value.
Faith, Family and Fellowship are all worthy traditions to develop and fight for.
As for gods of the New Age and Pop Religion, they blow in like the wind. They appeal to prisoners of the mind and promise them freedom without a cost and respect without reverence. Social Media is the perfect environment where these charismatic wizards cast their spells against timeless traditions to imprison their followers even further into the abyss of empty promises.
As for me and my house, we will hold onto traditions that have past the test of time and they will continue to do so long after I am gone.
What do you stand for?
What does your community look like?
Maybe it’s time to revisit some timeless traditions that will help anchor your life if you find yourself adrift.
An ancient virtuous woman – A modern day superwoman
For a brilliant description of a virtuous woman, read proverbs 31: 10-31, which was written thousands of years ago. She was a master at utilising tradition to prosper.
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We often try so hard to get noticed, we fail to see its demise if we are not prepared.
There’s a time and place to go on show and there is a time and place to go unnoticed.
Knowing the difference between the two makes our progress sweeter and our impact all the more impressive.
Wether it’s a boxer who dreams of going for a title belt or that business idea that will disrupt the way we live, being a nobody has its merits.
Being a nobody doesn’t mean we do everything out of sight, being a nobody means, few people take us seriously.
Three benefits of being a nobody with purpose
1. We can test the water of new ideas and the hammer of judgment won’t fall on us. After all, we are not taken seriously.
2. We can go faster in implementing strategies, changing courses and growing exponentially. Being a threat to any legitimate authority is minimal, they are too busy and too top heavy to keep up or even consider us a threat. After all, we are not taken seriously.
3. We become the underdog in a world ready to champion us when the timing is right. History records the unilateral enthusiasm when it comes to supporting the underdog.
From ancient stories of David and Goliath, the 300 Spartans, Braveheart to modern cinema, Rocky Balboa… the masses love the underdog.
There is a joy of being a nobody with purpose.
We are the ones always preparing, anticipating, growing. We have a hunger deep inside that just cannot be satisfied with mediocrity.
Don’t underestimate the nobody with purpose, their day of opportunity has an appointment with destiny.
Any champion was once a nobody with purpose.
As a Christian, my obvious champion is Jesus. He came into the world like a nobody. Born in a stable, a carpenter’s son, in a nobody village called Bethlehem.
He was a nobody for nearly thirty years until his time came. Within three short years his message of hope transformed the lives of thousands of other nobodies. Two thousand years later, nobody’s like me are continuing to spread his message of hope.
Can I encourage you to be a nobody with purpose, your day will come.
The greatest threats to a nobody without purpose, is their EGO, which jumps ahead before their time has come. Or it’s their time and fear grips them so they fail to launch, forever being a legend only in their own mind.
A nobody with purpose that is well measured is a force to be reckoned with. They will be taken seriously and will surprise even those that are most prepared but have lost their purpose.
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Welcome to another episode of TOMCAST,
We don’t have to be at the mercy of our inner negative voice!
It’s amazing how much we talk to ourselves negatively and we don’t realise it’s our voice.
We assume that the thoughts we have are real and even worse, we conjure up thoughts of ill will of those that aren’t even in the room.
Our inner voice, if it’s not disciplined can ruin our whole way of life by throwing accusations and judgements from thin air.
A negative inner voice draws from the well of dark experiences in the past and updates those experiences daily. Never escaping what was causes us to be guarded in every conversation, believing the worst could happen.
It is exhausting living in this negative environment and yet it can be addictive if we don’t wilfully break free from its clutches.
Breaking free from an inner negative voice is liberating and it’s possible if some ground rules are established.
1. Are the thoughts we are having based on recent events or conversations. If so, be honest about the current experience and words and deal with them immediately.
2. Associate with those who speak positive words into your life.
3. Be as transparent as you possibly can in your words and actions with those around you.
4. Train your inner voice to create a new world of possibilities. Some people use technics like affirmations to do just that. They literally speak new life into their situations be speaking out what they expect their inner voice to repeat when all is quiet.
Words have tremendous impact, be they verbalised or thought out.
As a Christian, I draw great strength through my beliefs and I open my subconscious through prayer and meditation as a discipline to change my inner voice.
I believe I am unconditionally loved by a benevolent God who gives my hope and joy even in challenging circumstances. I have not been forgotten.
If you feel trapped by a negative inner voice, you have the power to change the tone, the words and the intent of your inner voice and rescript every aspect of your inner world.
Stop the madness now and let the sun shine on your soul.
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Welcome to another episode of TOMCAST,
Prayer transforms hopeless situations.
This is a different blog, but it’s message is specifically for you.
When I talk about prayer, I’m not referring to wishful thinking or some sort of habitual ritual.
Prayer conjures up so many interesting concepts of humanity.
My first recollection of prayer was my mother. A hard working pragmatic woman who did everything humanly possible to get ahead, but still she prayed.
I’d watch her work two jobs, keep the house in perfect order and quietly say her prayers each afternoon as she exited the house to catch her bus.
In her ageing years, mum would say with confidence “God has seen my struggle, showed pity in me and gave me the desires of my heart”
She wasn’t a missionary, or an orator of scripture, I’m not even sure if she knew any biblical verses, but the woman believed.
Her prayers rubbed off on me for sure. I recall hearing my dad in agony with illnesses too hard to describe. I would’ve been maybe twelve years of age and felt helpless so I’d find a quiet place in my home and call out to God in prayer to heal my dad. I wasn’t raised in church but felt compelled to call out to God and make promises that I’d serve Him if he’d heal my dad.
Little did I know that God heard my prayers and dad would live for another twenty years. Those quiet times with God shaped my whole life and I’ve been praying ever since.
These days prayer has taken on a knew meaning. In my youth I was innocent and naive and my prayers were like a wish list, much like young children are to their parents. These days it’s more about intimacy and the wander of been known by the God of all creation.
I often just feel loved by God and that’s enough.
When I pray with other people, if I can help them connect with the God of all creation, I’ve done my part.
Like my mum, my hope is that anyone who is struggling in life and they start praying, maybe they to will quote my mum.
“God has seen my struggle, showed pity in me and gave me the desires of my heart”
Just find a quiet place and pour out your heart to God. He hears you and will help you.
Prayer transforms the most unlikely people, I know, I’m one of them.
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When it comes to sales people, they can be treated with contempt, often because of some who have shamed the industry.
These individuals who have shamed the industry aren’t sales people, they are nothing more than self serving wolves in sheep clothing.
A truly authentic sales person matches opportunities with individuals. Their conscience is clean and they can do business for decades without any concern of their name being marred.
The DIGNITY of the sales person.
They create a vision of possibilities.
They risk their reputation as they draw potential deals with individuals that need vetting.
They are loyal to the one they represent, and equally ethical to the one they seek to convince.
The Sales Person thrives on creating win win outcomes, be it real estate, automobiles or a piece of clothing…
The best Sales People also thrive on repeat business, all parties rely on the WORD of the deal maker, being (The Sales Person)
I started my sales career forty three years ago, selling baklava pastries (A Greek Desert) for my dads bakery. I was only fourteen years old and I learned quickly the art form and simplicity of sales back then.
1. Find a product you think people want.
2. Attach a value to the product.
3. Encourage the taste test
4. Always ask for the order.
5. Repeat the process and adjust any of the four above points where necessary.
There’s a Sales Person in every one of us. Some of us, like me have honed it into an art form over forty plus years. I LOVE IT!
The best advice I give to anyone regarding sales or business development…. LOVE WHAT YOU DO!!! Sales will become natural after that.
Dear Sales Person, do it with dignity, you make the world spin. Just remember that!!
All the best in making money, keeping it and most of all, making brilliant connections with people along the way.
If you are interested in up-skilling your Sales confidence and technics, engage my following services and let’s get specific.
email me direct contact@tomsmilovitis.com or connect with me on WhatsApp by pressing the button on the bottom right hand corner and let’s start talking.
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Welcome to another episode of TOMCAST,
Don’t be yesterday’s hero, stay current.
All to often, individuals get stuck in a time they believed was their peak.
Perhaps it was a time where everything seemed to be working well. Relationships were strong, money was not an object or a hindering factor, opportunity was everywhere.
For me it was in my early thirties. I was an Evangelist for a world wide organisation. I was married, had three beautiful children and I was popular within the organisation, having back to back meetings booked around the world.
I thought I reached my peak, life couldn’t get any better or could it?
That was over twenty five years ago. If you asked me today, do you miss that life? Goodness No, would be my answer. Yet at the time I didn’t know any better. My dreams were too small, my understanding of life was too narrow.
I needed to reach my peak as I understood it to let it go. Often what we think will bring us happiness or fulfilment is nothing more than eliminating what is and isn’t important in life.
If I held onto that season as the ultimate season to life, I wouldn’t have stepped into the deeper things that give me meaning today.
Being yesterday’s hero is truly a sad place to be when being current is ever before us.
The beauty of reaching peaks in life brings us wisdom that very little thrives on top of mountains. The true action is always at ground level where the rest of humanity lives.
My odyssey in my early thirties was wild but it was so disconnected to reality that I became irrelevant in no time.
The true heroes in my opinion are those who get up each day and face the grind of reality. They build solid character, they build solid relationships, they serve behind the scenes, they add value to their world and they do it unapologetically.
It was Jesus who challenged his students with simple lesson to provoke life’s meaning with the question “What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul in the process?”
The same question could be asked of us, in our endeavour to achieve all that we think will make us happy. What are you willing to lose?
Some will put everything on the line even their family, friends, faith, good conscience, only to be left empty.
Twenty Five years after my odyssey, I’m happy to say, it’s the simple things that bring meaning. I’m learning day by day to capture these moments.
A conversation with a stranger, a meal with my family, a kiss from my wife, a leaky tap that needs fixing.
I wish you all the best in reaching your peak sooner than later and hopefully you’ll join the rest of us down here on the ground, simply enjoying life as it was intended. Believe me, the mountain top is not where you want to build your life. The air is thin and you’ll be on your own.
Stay current, don’t live in the past nor in the future, today is the day of wholeness.
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In the early late 60s and early 70s there was a counterculture known as the Hippie Generation.
The movement originated on college campuses in the United States, although it spread to other countries, including Canada and Britain.
Youth as young as fifteen years of age rejected the establishment, in the hope of creating a new world with PEACE at the heart.
They experimented with drugs, relationships and communal living. On the surface, these young pioneers realised it wasn’t too long before human nature caught up with them.
They didn’t possess any more freedom than those who were trapped in the establishment. Relationships broke down, many, through the use of excessive drugs altered their state of consciousness and burnt their brain cells, never to recoup. As far as communal living was concerned, they discovered that human beings are fundamentally selfish and self preservation always ruled.
Wether we are a part of the establishment or we pioneer some new order, we still have to deal with our humanity and sometimes I’m sure every human on earth would like the idea of truly being Born Again.
Being Born Again, meaning, starting fresh, no matter who we are.
A marriage, starting fresh
Friendships, starting fresh
Our own life choices that has led us to the point of despair and disappointments, starting fresh seems just a dream.
Being Born Again can only seem like a dream; and like the Hippie Generation, what if we start fresh in a new direction and it ends up in a disaster?
What the Hippie Generation or any other generation, like the post WW2 establishment that the Hippie fought against, no one had the ability to fight the fundamentally flawed human nature.
Some think divorce is the answer, others think a new set of friends or a new environment is the answer, but human nature remains the same.
Being Born Again, is more than a cliche, being Born Again was an invitation to give up our selfish ways and take on a new nature.
The term was used by Jesus when speaking to a religious man that was seeking keys to life.
Jesus said to him, ~”Unless you are Born Again, you’ll never discover the meaning of life”
Jesus wasn’t talking about becoming religious in any way, or like the Hippie, trying to create a New World Order. Jesus simply dealt with selfish human nature and offered a way to transform selfishness into selflessness.
How?
Surrender our ways to God by acknowledging our selfish nature and asking God to renew the way we think, so we can act differently.
In 1981, I experienced this Born Again transformation and my whole outlook to life changed. Over the years, I’ve been tempted to be selfish for a season and after a season of giving over to self and becoming ugly on the inside, I find myself returning to God to transform me once again as He has done over my lifetime.
Can I encourage you to find a quiet place all by yourself and ask God to transform the way you think and take away the heavy burden of trying to be perfect.
Being Born Again will feel like a piano has lifted off your shoulders.
Life is way too hard trying to do it all on your own, let God help you experience all you were created to be.
At the time of writing this blog, I am fifty seven years of age, my heart is young and my hope is full. I acknowledge the love of God that reached out to me through the gift of His salvation.
When Jesus promised a life of hope by being Born Again, He exemplified it through His death and resurrection.
It’s all a matter of faith, I choose to believe and I’m all the more better for it.
I hope you believe in God like I have and ask for forgiveness. Ask for a new way of thinking and be open to see the world differently. I pray you have a Born Again experience like I have had forty years ago.
My answer to the title this blog, YES, you can be born again. Try It!!
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As a seasoned public speaker, social media and blog writer, I have always been aware of the impact words have to our own mental well-being. Most can’t see past the desire we have to be an encouragement to others.
When we step out to influence, encourage or teach, the speaker or writer taps into the endorphins in the same way an athlete does.
The better we are at our chosen field of words the greater the feeling of achievement.
What many don’t take into consideration, is the amount of brain drain words have on us over the long haul.
This is true of the educationist, the business development manager or anyone else that has to use words continually to fulfil their calling.
If you don’t believe me, talk to any mother of young children. Always negotiating to survive another day of motherhood.
Back to the writer or speaker.
There comes a point where everything we do can become automatic and the lustre and cutting edge of our words lose their meaning. We find ourselves repeating and regurgitating the same old, same old.
When we get to this point, the effect on our mental-health is the last thing we consider.
Ask yourself
Are our words uplifting?
Are our words authentic, do our words match our actions?
Are those around us encouraged by our words?
Like the fatigued athlete or the burnt out young mother, a season of mental rest is vital.
An ancient writer expressed this in the form of an exe that lost its edge. Stop hitting harder to chop the wood. It only damages your whole body, way too much effort.
Take time to sharpen the axe 🪓. You’ll find that when the axe is sharp, the axe does all the cutting and you simply guide it.
If your words are shrinking you, take time to reflect, don’t write or speak so much until you’ve taken time to refresh yourself.
The only measure of the effect of our words, are they getting through and are they seeing changes in those around us. If not, we just need to go back to basics to get our voice back.
Don’t be afraid of being quiet while you sharpen your wordsmith axe.
Happy mental resting.
TOM SMILOVITIS blogs are simple thoughts to encourage those looking to grow in their sphere of influence. PLEASE SHARE
Welcome to another episode of TOMCAST,
Why pray and not expect a reply?
In my forty year faith journey, hardly a day has gone by when I haven’t prayed. Yet in all my prayers there has been innumerable times my prayers were out of habit and not out of expectation.
The older I get the more I pray on purpose. My hope is to be in synch with my creator rather than attempt to bend His will to agree with my phobias.
There is a promise that Jesus gives if we choose to believe. He said God would answer every prayer according to His will.
Prayer is more than a life long wish list, prayer is about changing the way we view the world and discovering God’s view.
Prayer opens our eyes to all things possible.
Prayer frees us from the crippling grip of phobia.
Prayer unlocks our thoughts to the way God thinks.
Like me, can I encourage you to pray with the intention of learning a new way of living and thinking.
Prayer is a learned art of communicating. Just like a child learns to speak, let your prayers be innocent and hopeful.
God is always waiting to communicate with you if you are open to listen.
Why pray if you don’t expect an answer?. Prayer is a dialogue not a monologue.
If you find yourself in a bind, I pray your eyes be open to all the possibilities life has to offer. I especially pray that you discover the joy in having communion with the Living God.
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Welcome to another episode of TOMCAST,
Not seeing our own face in the mirror, The travesty of distractions.
We learn to communicate for two things, survival and meaning.
From the urge of eating and basic comfort to more the sophisticated art of being reflective around the meaning of life, communication is imperative.
We accept it when children behave in basic forms of, ‘I want’ but most of us get a little frustrated when adults can’t move beyond the, I or EGO.
In ancient times, the discussion of spiritual elders was around understanding truth and acting on it. Truth or purity by its very nature produces optimism, hope and life beyond just self, or EGO.
Truth opens the inner eye firstly to self, we can call this reflection. The ability to truly reflect allows us to be objective rather than be always at the centre of the conversation. By putting ourselves always at the centre of the conversation, we, like the Muse in the fire, get allured by all the distractions of a disappointed EGO.
I got hurt
I didn’t get what I wanted
I was taken wrong
I’m misunderstood
I’m different
I’m lonely
I missed out
True reflection or having the ability to see ourselves in the mirror, takes us out of the centre of the universe. Reflection allows truth to reveal things that we haven’t seen about ourselves or situation.
It’s the immature person that looks at themselves in the mirror and soon after forgets what they look like, because truth isn’t the basis of what they look for.
The mature person looks in the mirror and accepts the good, bad and ugly all at the same time.
The sooner we can become acquainted with our true self, or seeing ourselves as we are, this will help us not to be distracted with the smoke and mirrors of blame. Blaming others and circumstances prevents us from fully maturing.
It’s only in maturity, we become free from vain pursuits. We begin to focus on reality and reality isn’t as dreadful as we once thought.
Maturity produces quality outcomes that remain sustainable, be it relationships or productivity.
Don’t be afraid to look in the mirror and reflect exactly what is.
REALITY ISN’T AS DREADFUL AS IT SEEMS
TOM SMILOVITIS blogs are simple thoughts to encourage those looking to grow in their sphere of influence. PLEASE SHARE
Welcome to another episode of TOMCAST,
Diplomacy : The art of dealing with people in a sensitive and tactful way.
While the above definition is oversimplified, it does address two key ingredients to diplomacy or peace making.
The art of dealing with sensitive issues between two or more parties.
There’s nothing more volatile than the feeling of being wronged, misunderstood or maligned against. Words are fired and sensitive issues become corner stones to an all out war.
It’s at this point the Peacemakers are called upon to calm the storm.
Peacemakers by nature create impartiality tables. Unlike a judge who yields power or one party or person who gets their way through brutish behaviour. Peacemakers come with one agenda, and that is to keep the conversation going.
Peacemakers help to bring diverse views to the table with minimal hostility.
A Peacemaker has to have a strong sense of self and a broad acceptance to the outcomes, they don’t make it personal.
A person with a big ego or the opposite, one who has low self esteem crumbles under the pressure during the Peacemaking process.
There is a quality that a Peacemaker has that is likened to an Oracle of God. They speak with unusual wisdom and oversight of the situation, always closing the gap between conflicting issues.
If there was an animal that reflects the nature of a Peacemaker, it would have to be a sheepdog. Totally geared to guiding as many sheep as possible to safe pastures while they remain vigilant, ready to defend with their life against predators.
A Peacemaker recognises the wolf in the group and with gusto and expertise minimises the wolf’s voice of influence while bringing enlightenment to all parties.
A Peacemaker recognises misunderstandings between two or more parties. Their aim is to always seek reconciliation by speaking clarity and well-being, with renewed understanding of the real issues that need addressing.
The Peacemaker may prevent a couple from divorce by bringing words of hope to a couple in despair.
A Peacemaker may help misguided individuals bridge broken trust.
Sometimes just having a third party that is not directly influenced by sensitive issues is what stops wars and unnecessary collateral damage between beautiful people trying to defend their position or view point.
Blessed are the Peacemakers, they will be called children of God.
Being a Peacemaker isn’t the same as being gutless. They are courage in action.
Perhaps you would like to grow in the art of Peacemaking?
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Tom Smilovitis
‘Unlocking Potential‘
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Welcome to another episode of TOMCAST,
When we talk about forgiveness in the modern world, we have to recognise what forgiveness isn’t.
Forgiveness isn’t a weak attempt to move on from hurt or someone’s failures.
Forgiveness isn’t an avoidance of real or fabricated incidents.
Forgiveness is a gutsy realisation of pain, confusion and roadblocks that need to be addressed by two or more parties.
Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. … Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses.
Those that are wounded seek healing and often avoid the idea of forgiveness as the best way to experience emotional and mental ease.
Rather than go down the forgiveness path, we tend to introduce the enemy of forgiveness to deal with the hurt. Let’s call the enemy, The Grudge.
The Grudge identifies itself as our friend. The Grudge claims to understand us like no one else.
Like a weed, The Grudge makes inroads into areas of our life it has no business in. It starts to question every relationship based on the hurt we’ve received by isolated negative experiences.
The Grudge shrinks our world to self preservation and even our closest relationships get muddy.
Forgiveness in its truest form is ancient and it has far more power than just words or endless therapy.
Forgiveness is courageous.
Forgiveness invokes extra ordinary human characteristics.
Forgiveness takes us beyond setting the books straight or cancelling out debt.
Forgiveness reveals a way of life that that propagates freedom of thought, unconditional love and new possibilities between two or more factions.
If forgiveness were simply cancelling debt without the means to create wealth, it won’t be long before a new debt is created.
Imagine a married couple no longer wanting to hold The Grudge at the centre of their relationship. They decide to forgive one another of past failings without a radical new path moving forward. It won’t be long before The Grudge is welcome back to destroy the half hearted forgiveness attempt.
Radical Forgiveness is about wiping the past and building the future.
Forgiveness is courageous and fights for something that was lost.
Forgiveness by its very nature doesn’t accrue debt and deals with issues directly. A forgiving person refuses The Grudge’s temptations to build a new case for future hurt.
The posture of a forgiving person always comes from a place of reconciliation of all parties. Rather than self preservation being the end game, forgiveness pardons everyone with or without their permission.
In order for anyone to fully comprehend forgiveness in its fullness, they need to look to the one that practiced this very idea 2000 years ago.
While hanging on a cross in His last moments of life, Jesus calls out to God and exercises the courage of what it means to be extra human with the words ‘Father forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing’
He directly addressed those that falsely accused Him which landed Him a death sentence. You can’t get any more radical that that. He embodied what it means to be courageous and victorious at the same time.
To truly forgive is extraordinary.
The one who receives the most by forgiveness is the one who forgives. They are the true angels in human form.
Marriages, families, workplaces, communities can do with a whole lot of forgiveness. Imagine what that society would look like?
We all go through dark moments in life where we need forgiveness or we need to forgive… Maybe The Grudge in the room needs an eviction notice…
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email me direct contact@tomsmilovitis.com or connect with me on WhatsApp by pressing the button on the bottom right hand corner and let’s start talking.
Tom Smilovitis
‘Unlocking Potential‘
Check out my latest services to you like,
‘In good conscience’ A path to an authentic life’
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Welcome to another episode of TOMCAST, Networks that flourish. It’s always about drawing the right people together. Beware of the birds, rocks, and thorn type.
In thousands of years, it is clear that human beings haven’t evolved much when it comes to types of people.
The idea of creating a flourishing network or community is as old as time.
In modern days we use catch cries like ‘Finding our tribe’ or terms like ‘likemindedness’ to find our type of persons that make us feel normal or a sense of belonging.
An ancient parable or analogy describes four distinct types of people which reveals something about every human being on earth.
I believe we all experience the different types within ourselves and also see them in others as we mature or seek to become whole.
The parable of the farmer
A farmer sowed seed to reach a maximum harvest, much like any business owner or community group. The intent is to become as influential as possible.
Some seed fell in a pathway and the birds came and ate the seed before it germinated.
Some seed fell in between rocks or shallow ground and it germinated quickly but it didn’t take root. The new plant shrivelled up and died.
Some seed fell amongst thorns, this seed germinated but got choked in time by the aggressive thorny weeds.
Some seed fell in good nutritious soil, the environment caused this seed to grow without intrusions and it produced thirty to sixty times its original seed.
When you try to build a community or vibrant business, just like the farmer, you spread yourself to maximise impact. As a result you will come across four character types.
1. The bird type
These types come into our investment and just steal our energy, creatively and faith just to satisfy their selfish appetites.
Beware of the bird type, they are quick and have a complete disregard for your vision of creating a long lasting business or community that puts people first
2. The rock or shallow type
These are the ones that come into your world and are filled with excitement. They believe you instantly and promise you the world. These are the ones that take up your energy and before you know it they disappear looking for the next best thing.
Shallow people lack commitment and unfortunately drain devoted individuals that are focused.
3. The thorn type
These are the ones that go the distance to a point but they always struggle with worry and anxiety. They also struggle with the allurement of quick riches and success.
The world is yours for the taking is always in their heart but they struggle to connect in long deep and meaningful connections.
They are isolated and preoccupied with self to be concerned about community.
4. The good ground type
These are the ones that seek a full life. They are resourceful, engaging and recognise that it takes a whole village to create a whole person.
These are the ones that have a long game approach to life and commit to a number of areas to get the most out of life.
These are the ones that become trustworthy. They are sort out for all sorts of reasons because of their solid character.
If we are going to build great long lasting business and community groups, BE the good soil and minimise the bird, rock and thorn types from effecting your objective.
Let’s be honest, we all struggle with the bird, rock and thorn type within ourselves and judging others won’t help us with our desire to be whole.
We attract what we are, so BEING the good soil helps us to keep scattering the seed continually. We will eventually attract what we are. As for the bird, rock and thorn types, life has a way of sifting them out of our life so that we can continue to multiply and prosper.
All the best in becoming whole as you seek to build great communities, make no mistake, it’s a lifetime pursuit.
If you are interested in building strong communities, they require healthy cultures. BE the culture you are looking to establish. The rest is easy.
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email me direct contact@tomsmilovitis.com or connect with me on WhatsApp
Tom Smilovitis
‘Unlocking Potential‘
Check out my latest services to you like,
‘In good conscience’ A path to an authentic life’
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Welcome to another episode of TOMCAST, A mothers love is too hard to describe, but I’ll try.
When I think of the way the world is often described as ‘Mother Nature’ or a place of one’s origin as ‘Motherland’, these are terms of endearment and deep felt emotion of respect and belonging.
It was Abraham Lincoln who honoured his own mother, saying “All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother”
I’m confident most mothers struggle to feel the significant impact they have in their family, often not until they are too old to appreciate their contribution.
My mother went to the grave thankful for all God gave her describing her life to a rose 🌹. “My whole life has been difficult, like a long stem rose filled with thorns, but in the end God gave me the rose” ~ Sofia Smilovitis
In the last few years of mum’s life when she felt she had very little to contribute, her children surrounded her with the same love and care she had invested in them.
I can’t possibly imagine some of the difficulties she endured trying to raise a family. Mum never made me feel like I was a burden to her. As I got older, mum acknowledges the miracle of her tears been replaced with joy, but it came at a great cost.
She went on to say “Imagine it being so cold and we were so poor with very little means of heat in our small one room flat. I dried your nappies on my chest because that’s the only way I thought possible to make sure you were taken care of”
Mum would tell me story after story of the sacrifice it took, yet it was worth it all.
Today, being Mother’s Day, my wife and I went to my mother’s grave site to give her homage. As we drove in the graveyard it was filled with individuals and families paying their respects to mothers that are resting in peace.
Motherhood is a painful experience. I’ve watched my mother struggle her whole life with her self worth long after her children had left home. I also watch my wife and mother of our children who have left home many years ago struggle the same tragic torment of self worth.
Motherhood in all its beauty, sacrifice and devotion has a hidden volt of bitter sweet decisions few understand.
I for one don’t understand, but I am a recipient of a mother’s love and I know what it’s like to feel loved unconditionally.
For this I am grateful.
To every mother that feels misunderstood, happy Mother’s Day.
TOM SMILOVITIS blogs are simple thoughts to encourage those looking to grow in their sphere of influence. PLEASE SHARE
Welcome to another episode of TOMCAST, Leadership; embellished and over-talked; under demonstrated; largely misunderstood.
It’s often the ones that lead that aren’t recognised and those that seek recognition of leadership, just don’t lead.
With catch phrases like ‘Being led up the garden path’, meaning someone has wasted our time and energy or has deceived us through their influence. It’s not a surprise many don’t like the thought of being led.
Leadership is far more complex than telling others what to do or guiding them down a path.
Leadership in its simplest form is navigating oneself and others to the best possible outcome with the least cost.
The notion of winning where only a few benefit, can’t be seen as wholesome leadership.
Terms like Industry Leaders ought to be lightly praised. Often Industry Leaders channel their skills to benefit specific industry stakeholders at the expense of massive collateral damage.
Or yet another term, Leadership Strategist, win at all costs. These individuals have no hesitation wiping out the whole chess board pieces to get a checkmate. As long as the king is still standing, this type of leader fancies themselves as a leadership expert.
The very idea of a leader not having a following or not being able to influence their peers without fear tactics has misunderstood what it means to lead.
True leadership or what I like to coin Wholesome Leadership is a long game, if we are to produce the best outcomes for as many individuals possible.
Wholesome Leaders take others as they are. They take them on a journey with or without their permission. Wholesome Leaders choose who they want to work with and don’t take no for an answer.
1. They will work on building trust through example-ship.
2. They will be as transparent.
3. They will be impartial.
4. They will be persistence.
5. They don’t lose the objective of the journey.
6. They definitely have thick skin and soft hearts.
If you ever come across this type of leader, you’ll note that they mix at every strata of society and they don’t need a title nor do they ask for permission to lead.
If you would like to know more on how you can grow in your wholesome leadership journey, it starts by giving a dam. Wholesome Leaders prefer to win the person, not the argument or the perception that they are more accomplished than those they seek to influence towards greater outcomes.
Everyone has a wholesome leader in them, maybe discover how good a wholesome leader you can be?
TAKE THE NEXT STEP NOW FOR A FREE CONSULT
email me direct contact@tomsmilovitis.com or connect with me on WhatsApp by pressing the button on the bottom right hand corner and let’s start talking.
Tom Smilovitis
‘Unlocking Potential‘
Check out my latest services to you like,
‘In good conscience’ A path to an authentic life’
TOM SMILOVITIS blogs are simple thoughts to encourage those looking to grow in their sphere of influence. PLEASE SHARE
Welcome to another episode of TOMCAST, The ancient facilitator. A wedding planners nightmare. A calling to create the greatest experience for all participants.
There is nothing better than a well orchestrated event, yet few appreciate all the behind the scenes effort to create it.
In the modern world of shallow experiences, we hardly appreciate what a real event looks, feels and tastes like.
As a result of not appreciating the outcome of an event like an ancient wedding, we fail to take away the sacredness of its intent.
What’s the role of a facilitator? Especially the facilitator’s role from an ancient wedding. We ought to apply their gifting and talent to the modern day world of events. The ancient facilitators created events with a lasting effect, unlike the minimal transforming fabric of modern world shallowness and independents. The ancients thrived on the idea of creating lasting community from their event.
The ancient facilitator’s role!
1. They help a group of people work together
2. They understand common objectives
3. They plan meticulously how to achieve an objective
4. They stay neutral throughout the process
5. They glue strengths together and protect the community or group from those who try to hijack the overall objective
Most modern day events are quickly dismissed due to the lack of a lasting objective. Participants generally come to take more than they give. With this mindset in place, most events are as quickly forgotten and all the preparations leave Facilitators wanting.
Let’s have a look at a real life changing event looks like, an ancient wedding.
1. The event itself would be over a festive week in length.
2. The preparation would take years to raise the funds.
3. The objective would bring not only two people together, it would join families and the whole community would participate.
4. The master of ceremonies or the ancient Facilitator would be a miracle worker to pull this off.
It’s interesting that 2000 years ago, Jesus chose to perform his first miracle at a wedding in a small village called Cana.
The one thing we can take away from the ancient story is. They ran out of wine some time during the wedding week which would bring shame to the Facilitator and the hosts that resourced the wedding (The groom or father of the groom). It would also change the mood of the festival event.
Mary, the mother of Jesus picked this point in time to reveal the purpose of Jesus and the importance of finishing the wedding better than it started.
Mary knew the objective of being a wedding planner and as a result, the wedding took an incredible turn, better than anyone could plan.
Jesus turns the water into wine, all 600 litres of it. Six vessels used for ceremonial water were transformed into new wine.
For those of us that endeavour to bring hope to other people’s lives through our choice of being facilitators, even we fail from time to time no matter how organised and efficient we are.
It’s at these times, we are able to approach the ultimate Ancient Facilitator. If our intention is to create a better world, bring people together and pass on timeless values, expect surprises along the way.
Just like the wedding in Cana, for those of us who exercise faith, hope and love, expect the best days of life to always be in front of us l, no matter how old we get.
God saves the best till last, be it in friendships, marriage, community, if we allow Him to.
I’ve been a Facilitator of sorts for decades, trying to bring good ideas and people together. I can truly say the older I get, the more experienced I am, I still leave room for God (The Ancient Facilitator) to surprise me with the outcome.
Maybe you feel like an empty vessel, you may think the best days of your life are behind you. I assure you that they are not if you activate a new way of thinking and believing.
TAKE THE NEXT STEP NOW FOR A FREE CONSULT
email me direct contact@tomsmilovitis.com or connect with me on WhatsApp by pressing the button on the bottom right hand corner and let’s start talking.
Tom Smilovitis
‘Unlocking Potential‘
Check out my latest services to you like,
‘In good conscience’ A path to an authentic life’
Tom Smilovitis