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Men need to cry more, they may just live longer

I attended a women’s lunch recently held in a vineyard, surrounded by tall trees, grass and grapevines.

The ladies were dressed beautifully with soft music playing in the background by a couple of young ladies.

The three female speakers of the day shared personal aspects of their life very openly

Each speaker started and ended their stories with deep emotions. The women in the audience, approx one hundred ladies connected instantly with full expressions of laughter and tears.

This event wasn’t therapy, it was simply the difference between the way men and women communicate

Men are dying too early in life and they leave this world without connecting and communicating as they should

1. Men rarely open up just for the sake of opening up. Perhaps they see this as a waste of time or unnecessary conversation

2. Men avoid emotions until it’s too late. How many men didn’t see the divorce coming

3. Men somehow don’t give themselves permission to admit they just aren’t coping seasonly. Maybe men have been taught from a very early age to hold on to their emotions. Unhealthy men teaching their boys unhealthy practices

I’ve had the unfortunate experience of seeing men begin to open up very late in life if at all

1. Some of these men are exhausted from all the coverup and lies of masculinity

2. Some men aren’t connecting their ill health to their closed heart

3. Some men just prefer to stay hard and die early

Tears, like laughter, anger, joy and every other human emotion have their place in keeping us healthy

To simply block a vital emotion out and replace with bitterness and resentment because it’s all too much doesn’t help

I’ve had the privilege of seeing some of the toughest men you could meet, shed tears as they release the ugly toxins of disappointment and self loathing

Men having an ability to talk heart to heart with their partner or another man can save them great heartache when it matters most. It may even save their life

It’s not too late to unlock the full expression of being human, tears and all. Strong bonds are built by threading our lives together, being completely human.

There’s an ancient expression ‘Those that sow in tears will reap in joy’. As men, we give permission for other men to bond with their loved ones and with their own inadequacies by simply crying from time to time.

If you are interested in a chat, message me on WhatsApp with the button to the right hand bottom corner of this page or email me direct on tom@smilovitis.com and we can arrange to meet if you’re in Perth, Western Australia or zoom chat anywhere in the world.

Who knows what light could come from a chat?

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