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3 steps to avoid the contempt of familiarity (Lesson 24 Revised) 27 days

There’s nothing worse than a relationship gone wrong, be it friends, marriage or in the work place.

There’s three steps to minimise that feeling of contempt in others and them in you.

1. Lifelong relationships need space to develop

If a relationship starts off with with sparks, it’s probably a good thing. All to often we get paranoid when the spark eases.

The test of a long term relationship will challenge our ego, and just remember, the ego doesn’t take into account how the other person feels.

Allowing space in a relationship allows both parties to grow the relationship accordingly.

This is especially important in marriage.

When the honey moon is over, the ability to build a lifelong union while continuing to develop yourself will keep the marriage fresh indefinitely.

Many marriages fail when one partner allows ego to dictate how the other person should think and act.

2. Invest in the relationship with no expectations

Lifelong friendships don’t just happen, they require effort.

A friendship will often start by one person extending their hand first then the other reciprocates.

If only one person is always reaching out, this is the breeding ground for contempt.

The healthy thing to do in this case, distance yourself for a season and develop new friendships.

All lifelong friends come from a place of mutual respect. Ebb and flow is how we build one another up. When one is down the other is there to lift you up. It cannot be a one way street.

3. You can’t love others unless you have a healthy dose of love for yourself

All to often we look for validation in relationships when we should be backing ourself within some self respect.

You’ll probably find people with very few lifelong friends struggle with themselves just as much.

I’ve got all sorts of great relationships brewing at various levels. From my beautiful marriage, children, grandchildren, extended family, work colleagues, friends around the world.

Don’t get caught up shrinking your life to a handful of relationships, you will even destroy them with deep feelings of contempt.

Be the first to start a new friendship this week and just remember, be your own friend first.

If you are interested in a chat, message me on WhatsApp with the button to the right hand bottom corner of this page or email me direct on tom@smilovitis.com and we can arrange to meet if you’re in Perth, Western Australia or zoom chat anywhere in the world.

Who knows what light could come from a chat?

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